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  I take myself for a long walk every day and every day is a unique experience. Today I noticed a lot of Jays flying about. I love Jays.  I am always delighted to see such a magnificent blue flash appearing overhead. But there is another reason that I am always pleased to see a Jay. About fifteen years ago I was working in a dental studio. The man who ran the studio fancied himself as a bit of a ladies' man, but I wasn't interested in him at all. It was the old man who did the technical work who held me in thrall. His name was Heinz, and he was in his early seventies. He was short and round, his cropped hair was grey, and he had made his own teeth! He was Polish. We became great friends. We made a very unlikely couple. Me, tall and slim and quite a bit younger than him. I suppose people presumed him to be my dad, but he came to mean much more to me than a surrogate parent. He was so kind even though he had lived through terrible times. He described being poverty stricken while

Today I remember my brother who died in 2002 at the age of forty-two. He had been ill for some time so one would assume his death did not come as a shock, but it did. We had grown accustomed to his illness; he had a brain stem tumour. My sister-in-law nursed him at home and his estimated life expectancy had been a few months, yet he just kept going. He was bedridden but could recognise us and every now and then would surprise us all with bursts of conversation before silence resumed. Every now and then we were treated to glimpses of his wit and charm. I remember one particularly poignant conversation I had with him. He told me he had been out in the fields with Joe (his father-in-law who had passed away many years previously) and a few of his other mates. A quizzical look came across his face as he said to me, "But, Cee, Joe wouldn't open the gate, why wouldn't he open the gate, why wouldn't he let me go with him? I wanted to go with him." I imagined a sun kissed